Let me preface with my week (yes, I understand that my week is probably not all that different from anyone else's, but this is my story, so....) Monday: A very unsuccessful piano lesson for Maggie and general mayhem when we got home. Tuesday: YW Fundraiser (Yes, I was called as YW Camp Director and yes, I am due the week before camp) at my house making bath salts, oatmeal bath sachets, Mother's Day gift bags. During which my kids had 2 dress rehearsals for their Tavaci concert in which they got home about 9:30pm. Wednesday: Tavaci concert for the girls followed by a quick treat = getting home around 9:00 pm, again. Thursday: painting office/nursery in between work and the Relief Society Monthly Meeting which I was 40 min late to due to my slower than molasses children and a potty accident right as we were trying to walk out the door. I'm on the board so I had to help with clean up and of course, we didn't get home until after 9:30pm, again. Friday: I can't complain too much because Iz picked up dinner and we watched a movie at home. Saturday: Got up at 6am, ran 2 mi at 7am, 9am picked up flowers and odds and ends for the YW Fundraiser (making Mother's Day corsages) at my house at 10am. We finished flowers and finally got most of the orders out by 4pm. The girls had a wonderful Egg Hunt in Archer, that I missed, at 2pm. Then I caught up with them late and tried to get back in town early enough so the last orders could be delivered. By 9pm they still weren't available so I went to bed because I was DONE!
Enter Sunday morning.
I got 9 hours of sleep and woke up at 6 am to shower and pick up the house a bit. I realized at this point that the dress I'd planned to wear was not ironed as I'd thought. But the girls and Israel had made me a lovely breakfast of veggie omelet, toast, fruit salad and chocolate milk and showered me with handmade cards, pictures, hanging flower basket and a book light for the Nook. I loved it all! It was very sweet and thoughtful. At this point I was a tad sleepy and the girls were dressed so I asked Maggie to tell Iz to wake me at 8:10am so I'd have time to quick do my hair, iron my dress and put my makeup on before church. I'd also gotten a call for 2 more corsages for me to take to church for them.
I woke up at 8:40!!!! to find Israel in his pjs on the computer, the girls were in their dresses with WILD hair eating chocolate and getting it all over themselves and the kitchen, and I was in complete disbelief. We fly into a whirlwind of action to get moving. Okay, I did and the kids just ran around crazy like they'd didn't have a care in the world. Which, they didn't, of course. We're just about ready when we discover another accident to take care of and now church has started 5 minutes ago. Have I ever mentioned how I HATE to be late to church? Anyway, by the time we're all ready and I've grabbed the extra orders to be delivered at church we are 25 minutes late, have missed the Sacrament and there are no seats to be found. We did find the couch open in the other foyer. I'm simmering at this point, but still maintaining a level of composure. The girls sang with the Primary and did beautifully (I stood in the back and watched from there). Then at the end they were passing out the Mother's Day plants so I stood in the back patiently waiting for mine...waiting...waiting...waiting....they started packing them up so I told Israel to go get me one, but I was beginning to boil. I caught up with the one who wanted the 2 extra corsages and she tells me she doesn't want them anymore because one daughter didn't show and the other just left. Okay, NOW I'M BOILING OVER and barely maintaining any level of composure. Israel is walking out behind me and says, what only a man can say in a moment like that, "Don't lose it." And what do you think is going to happen now?!? I lost it.
I turned to him and said, " I just want to go home" and walked out the door. He followed and drove me home while I cried the whole way. Yes, yes, I did. And I cried when I got home for about an hour. He went back to church, I cleaned the kitchen and decided to journal about my week. At which time I cried some more. When I heard my family come home I laid down and took a nap for 2-3 hours. I thought I'd be much better by then, nope, not really.
Israel did make a delicious dinner of Salmon, roasted red potatoes and steamed broccoli, my favorite dinner. It was nice that the girls tried to make the table extra special, but I just couldn't get out of my funk and it'd only get worse as the girls argued with each other or with me. After attempting to mop the floor (cleaning can be therapeutic for me) and having Emma and the dog walk all over it. I finally just gave up and ran a bath while Iz put the kids to bed. I woke up much better today. ;)
I laugh hysterically about this day...now, but it all felt so overwhelming while it was happening. I wonder if we just put a lot of pressure on ourselves and our families to make these "holidays" so special and so perfect that we drive ourselves NUTS! I'm sure being 8 months pregnant and having such a crazy busy week were also major contributing factors, too.
I am grateful for my family and all their efforts to make the day special for me even if I just couldn't handle it emotionally. ;) I'd also like to say that it wasn't any one person's fault for how I was feeling, apparently I'm just not as "Super Woman" as I'd like to be.
9 comments:
But you ARE superwoman! You just have too much going on all at once! I'm sorry you had such a rough day! I sure hope this week will be better for you!
Yay!! A real life story of a real life mom, who still loves being a mom but having a "what was I thinking moment" . . .thanks for sharing! I'm having one of those today . . . I hope it goes away tomorrow : /
I like hearing these kinds of stories. My day was pretty uneventful either way. :)
Sorry it was a rough day. And yes I highlighted the good parts. I had to listen to a half hour of I hate you. And how fat and ugly I am. Just because I enforce 9pm bedtimes. So mine wasn't a perfect day. But I did enjoy cleaning my Mother in laws house, grilling out, the fire, and playing basketball with Lil Dan. I think we do set our expectations high for such holidays. And then we are left with a high chance of being let down.
Before Dalton was born, I wanted a baby SOOO bad, and it just wasn't happening during the first 3 years of my marriage. I would go to church on Mother's Day, and try not to cry until I could get outside. I just felt like the fact that they were giving me a flower was just verifying that I was a charity case/a malfunctioning female. After he was born, I still hated Mother's Day because they would give me a plant, and it would be dead within a couple of days. Again, it seemed like that poor plant was screaming "You can't even keep me alive! What makes you think you can raise a kid on your own?! I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but you definitely one of many women who hate Mother's Day occasionaly,for various reasons.
I love this kinds of posts, because this is SO what real life is like! My husband spoke on Sunday (about mothers, of course) but I missed it because the baby didn't go down for his nap until an hour later than usual, so he slept until 45 minutes into sacrament. Isn't that always the way it is?
I hated Mother's Day. And I looked at facebook and wanted to stomp on everyone's toe. And I do think it's my own expectations that ruined it for me. I should be happy that I have a wonderful husband. Many of my friends and family don't. I should be thankful I have 3 beautiful, lively, and healthy daughters. Again, many of my friends don't. When did I make this Holiday all about the worship of me, instead of the people in my life who make it possible for me to have this sacred role.
yet every year I find myself hating Mother's day and loathing those who talk about how wonderful theirs was and how they spent the day being pampered by husbands/ children.
Thanks for the honesty, I was feeling quite alone in my crankiness Sunday.
I think we have these kinds of days for a reason. Everyone needs a restart and I think these are the perfect way to get them. If you see a super woman any where. Stick around for a few days and soon you'll see her melt down.
We all have these days!
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