I want to thank all you for your kind thoughts and encouragement. They are felt and appreciated. I also appreciate the optimism of a few of you, but it is not to be this time. My HCG test today showed that my HCG levels have dropped significantly and I continue to constantly cramp and bleed. The doctor wants me to come in on Tuesday for another HCG draw to be sure it has gone to zero. I've had much of my cramping localized on one side and apparently that can indicate a eptopic pregnancy. If the levels are at zero than I guess that's unlikely. Whatever the case, I have miscarried this baby.
It's funny how your emotions kind of go on a little ride. Sometimes I'm totally fine and then other times I'm just really sad. I'm sure that has something to do with the hormones coming and going and the disappointment I feel. I don't quite mourn the loss of a specific child, I think it's more likely I mourn the loss of an opportunity.
I'm not hopeless. If I could get pregnant this time, I can get pregnant again, right?
4 comments:
I truly am so sorry. I am sending prayers of healing and peace your way. I LOVE YOU! I am so sorry!
Here is my belief. Right before I got pregnant with Jillian, I miscarried, I am convinced the baby that would have come to that body was Jillian, but for whatever reason that little body didn't work out, she just had to wait for one that did. My prayers are with you and your fam. I am sorry for your loss, I know something will work out, you two are too great and make such stinkin cute kids Heavenly Father just has to send more =)
Actually, getting pregnant is a good sign. It will seem but a small moment later on. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. Your hormones are on a rollercoaster ride! You are not PG, then you are, then you aren't. It takes time for your body to sort all that out. Hang in there! As Annie says, "The sun will come out TOMORROW..."I am singing it to you right now. Thinking of you!
So sorry to hear. I was out of town over the weekend and out of the blogging world. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!
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